Don't Call me a Role Model

I’ve done some pretty insane stuff in my life. Some people that I have skated with, when they find out my age they say that I look great. Well believe me, that is all in the genes. It has nothing at all to do with how I have taken care of myself over the years (other than staying out of the sun),

But honestly all thru my late teens and into my mid thirties it was all about sex drugs and rock and roll. Don’t call me a role model.

I used speed on a daily basis for about 20 years. I used pot to sleep and speed to wake up. I have gotten into too many fights at bars, clubs and concerts to even count. I have hurt people, I have put people in the hospital. To say that I have a temper is an understatement and back then I really wasn’t able to hold my temper.

I've dated some real losers and even had one that told me “you’re a whole lot smarter than I am”. (that pretty much ended that one.) I got married, the first time when I was 19 and got my final divorce papers two weeks before my 20th birthday.

I was 38 years old when I finally gave up speed. I was 39 when I finally settled into a long term relationship that WASN’T based on partying and 42 when we got married. I was 52 when I got divorced for the 2nd time.

I gave up drinking because all my favorite alcohol now triggers migraines, I’ll smoke a good cigar or hang out with friends and smoke a hookah from time to time.. I do smoke marijuana  for my migraines and to relax. I have finally had the opportunity to do what I have always wanted to do since childhood, skate roller derby.

I’ve been to Hell and back and if my story can inspire or help someone then I’m ok with that, just don’t call me a role model.

I don't need therapy, I have roller derby!

"You'll never see a Derby Girl on a Therpist's couch...unless she is sleeping with the therapist!"

I recently, I would say about a week ago, started a group on Facebook with the above name. Why? Because I am ALWAYS saying that I don’t need therapy, because I have roller derby.
I had no idea that it would strike such a cord with the Roller girls of the world. In less than a week we had 554 people join, with more joining all the time! Some have shared their stories on how derby has helped them….

One wrote-

“After discovering that my husband of 24 years cheated on me, I felt worthless, depressed, unloved and useless. Not being a small lady does not help either. But when I got SAVED on March 15, 2009 by the Derby City Roller Girls, my life began anew. I bless all of my derby sisters every day for being their when I need.”

Still another wrote-

Derby is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was so depressed. And now I have a wonderful derby family. And I get to knock girls down what else could I ask for. :). “

And another writes-

” I am so glad to have found derby 3 years ago; it is the greatest thing that could have happened to my family. I eat, sleep and breathe it, my kids love it and my husband is a Ref now! He signs every one of his emails with "Roller Derby saved my Wife!" ;) -

But my favorite, by far is-

“I haven't been on anti-depressants since I discovered Roller Derby 9 months ago lol”

Who could have imagined that something as simple as an amateur sport for women could have such a profound effect on so many? I knew that I loved it because, well I come from a pretty strong background. My siblings and I were always riding motorcycles, roller skating, sometimes getting into fights, when growing up. I have always had a temper and only learned to control it as I got older. My family is a family of “Fighters”. If you try to attack us in an effort to scare us you will simply piss us off and then you will have to deal with us defending ourselves. Most people just don’t want to go there. We have never been the family that sits back and let’s people bully us or our friends. So when Roller Derby made its comeback I KNEW I had to get involved. The truth is, that I have never really gotten along well with most women. I grew up a tomboy and was always hanging out with the guys, racing, riding, working on cars or motorcycles, you know, just being one of the guys

I never imagined that this sport could be helping so many women thru difficult times in their lives. But that is apparently what it is doing! I do understand why though. When you join a roller derby team/league you are suddenly a part of an amazing group of strong women. They are, for the most part, not your stereotypical women. They work hard and play hard, they don’t whine , but they will bitch from time to time (mostly when the coach says “Ok now, Lunges from one end of the track to the other!”) But they still suck it up and do it. They teach you to skate, to hit, to fall, to block, to jam. Most times they will cheer you on thru all of your progress.

They have suffered through bruises, “rink rash”, knee injuries, broken ankles, broken tailbones, broken legs, broken wrists/fingers, etc. and yet they still cannot imagine NOT skating! They have jobs and “normal” families, pets, boyfriends or husbands and many have children. They teach each other and protect each other. You attack (be it physically or verbally) one roller girl you’re going to have the whole team on your ass! They are a force to be reckoned with.

On the track it may look like they are trying to kill the opposing team, but afterwards it’s all about beers at the bar. Oh sure, there are some personality clashes, there always is in any large group of people (not just women), but there is far less cattiness than in other woman’s groups that I toyed with the idea of joining. I am not saying that it is one big happy “sorority” because it’s not…there are conflicts, but the difference here is that most roller girls are not phonies. If two teammates don’t like each other they usually make that very clear….however, they will usually figure out how to at least be civil to each other and still work as teammates on the track .

For the significant others in a roller girl’s life, once she starts skating they will suddenly see a whole new woman emerging, one that is stronger, happier and more confident. Sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes it can be a curse. But ladies, if you’re a roller girl and your guy or girl doesn’t like the person that it is helping you become, then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. Your significant other should want you to be happy, not be upset because you have found something (else) that you love.

For the most part, at least in my own experience and the experience with my team, our significant others are extremely supportive. Some are announcers, some become referees and some are just happy to volunteer at bouts. For many that have children derby becomes a family affair. Because really, what kid doesn’t want to be able tell their school mates/friends “My mom can beat up your dad”? *lol*

The longer I skate roller derby the more I come to love it. It seems I have found yet another place (besides renaissance faire) that I feel at home! And the fact that it is with a huge group of women is more than bizarre for me! So, ladies, if going thru a rough patch in your life with relationships, depression, weight gain or anything else and you’re not afraid to perhaps end up with some bruises…might I suggest roller derby? It has saved many of us…in fact I am contemplating starting the “United Church of Roller Derby” as the song from our “Patron Saint(s)” Uncle Leon and the Alibis says “Roller Derby Saved my Soul”!

The Rules of the Black Gryphon...

So you're thinking you want to join the Black Gryphon eh? While we of the Black Gryphon don't have many rules..... we do have a few that are Strictly enforced. If you can follow these simple rules you might be able to be a Gryphon.

#1 NO DRAMA (we don't do drama, we do comedy)

#2 Don't be Stupid
a. Don’t drink with Zac.
b. Don’t drink with Zac
c. DON’T DRINK WITH ZAC!!

#3 No Whining (see rules # 1 & 2)

#4 Have Fun (because if you're not having fun at faire it's time to stop doing faire!)

#5 Do your fair share(no one keeps records of what everyone has done....we just ask that everyone do what they can to help)

On traitors and un-loyal twits…..

I have been in many different groups, sports, ren faire guilds, ale stand crews, online groups etc., in my lifetime. There is little that pisses me off more than a traitor or un-loyal asshole that decides it is their purpose in life to try to destroy a group/team/guild/crew. These are the people that try to steal your members and take them to a new group, or will stay with your group only to act as a mole for a rival group, reporting back to the rival group all of your ideas, strengths, weaknesses etc.

I have no problem with people leaving one group to join another or even start their own. However, do not try to steal my members, do not try to give the ruling board of my group an ultimatum or lesson on how things should be run (if you think you can do better then quit talking and let’s see some fucking actions. Go start your own group if you think you can do better.), do not stay around just to be a spy (I would really rather you just leave), do not come up with some bullshit reason why you have to leave (when we all know the truth already), do not try to bring drama to my group just because you’re an asshole.

To put it bluntly, if you want to leave fine. Be up front about it, be honest about why you’re leaving and don’t give some bullshit sob story or try to give the heads of the group an ultimatum or lesson. You will most likely find that it will all backfire on you. In fact, the rest of the group doesn’t even need to know that you’re leaving or why unless the heads of the group want them to. So don’t post some bullshit email or social networking post saying good bye, and how sad you are to be leaving etc., because we all really know that is just a ploy that you use to get people to try to ask you to stay, because for some sick reason you have some deep seeded need to have everyone like you. The only response that you will get from me is”Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

To be honest, my group will be bigger, stronger and altogether better without you. There will be less drama, backstabbing and Jr. High School histrionics. We will thrive and grow and get better. People will find us and ask to join. Your departure will not deter us from becoming a stronger more closely knit group. In fact it will have just the opposite effect; we will become a force of nature. So remember if you leave and try to cause drama on your way out, when we become that force of nature do not even begin to think that you will ever be let back into the group. Like a Phoenix we will rise from the ashes and become more than what we were.

The Black Gryphon was at one point down to only 3 members…….we now have more than 40 members on our gate list, and we DON’T recruit. Yes, we are THAT good.

A non-artist in family full of (lowbrow) artists

I cannot draw to save my life. Seriously, the best I can muster is stick figures. So how is it that I come from a family FULL of artists? Two of my nephews are artists and Tattoo artists and my husband does amazing kar kulture style hot rod art as well as building some amazing miniature cars out of styrene. So how did I come to be surrounded by artists? GOOD QUESTION.

My nephew, Zac, started drawing when he was about 4, I believe. I remember walking into my sister’s house and seeing him sitting at the coffee table in the living room with pencil and paper and in front of him was a soda cup from Little Caesar’s Pizza Pizza. As I looked over his shoulder to see what he was drawing I was shocked and amazed to see that he had drawn the Little Caesar’s mascot exactly as it appeared
on the cup, except twice as large. Then and there I knew he was talented. And that is when I made the commitment to ALWAYS encourage his art. From buying him drawing and painting supplies to paying for him to take extracurricular art classes. Even taking him to Renaissance Faire at the age of 10 expanded his artistic nature.



My nephew Rob also started drawing at a young age. He started tattooing at an early age
and thus Zac began his apprenticeship with his big brother at an early age. Both are now amazing artists and amazing tattooists.




Now I realize that many people see tattooing  “Lowbrow” art. But really, so what? Art is art. Ed “Big Daddy” Roth is considered lowbrow, Chris “Coop” Cooper is considered lowbrow as are Brandon Bond, Dave Mann, Frank Frazetta, Frank Miller, Joseph Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera), Tim Burton and virtually every comic book artist that has ever laid pen or pencil to paper. Lowbrow art is art for the people and lowbrow artists don’t have to wait until they are dead for people to appreciate their art.

I am incredibly proud of my nephews. They can take pencil and paper or tattoo machine and ink and create beauty or whimsy out of thin air using only their imaginations. This ability is something that should be encouraged wherever it is found and in whatever style it is found. Whether it is in the traditional arts such as drawing/painting, sculpting, photography, design or in the performing arts. In these days of budgets cuts when schools are cutting art and music classes I feel that it is the responsibility of everyone to make an effort to encourage children to draw, play, sculpt, design, sing, dance and act whenever and wherever they can. They are the future and a future without art is a very dismal future and one that makes me sad to even think about.

So how did I end up surrounded by artists? I have no idea, but I consider myself LUCKY.

Peace on earth.....

Good will to Man?

No thank you. I hate humans, Yes you read that right. I hate humans. Because really....all the problems that exist on this planet started with Humans. Bigotry, religion, racism, sexism, war, pollution, it all started with humans.

Think about it....you've never heard of a lion bombing a building in the name of "Their" god. Nor have you heard of a dog judging someone because of the color of their skin. You've never heard of an animal killing for the sport of it. Nope they kill to survive, it's called the food chain. There is nothing good or bad about it. It simply is.

However, then humans evolved...and as the human race evolved so did racism, bigotry, religion and hate. Pollution and overcrowding started to take hold....then wonders of wonders humans invented a way to travel into space.....now we have SPACE junk! WTF!?!?

So yes...I say, and will defend it, that the blame for all of the problems that exist in the world today can be laid squarely at the feet of "Humanity".

The single biggest enemy that the environment has today is HUMANS.

So as far as Peace on Earth (it will never happen as long as the human race as we know it exists) and good will to Man I say BITE ME!

"Designer" anything???

Ok....so I'm looking at an Ulta cosmetics ad and I see that they have Ed Hardy fragarence and makeup on sale. Really? Don Ed Hardy is a legend in the world of tattooing, but really do women want to SMELL like him? Is he really qualified to create a fragarence? Or did someone else create the fragarence and Ed Hardy simply put his name on it? Perhaps I am a purist or maybe you would call me a snob, but it saddens me to see a legend become a sell out. Now I could get behind a line of, perhaps clothing with Ed Hardy's art on it....after all he is an artist. But a PERFUME? Really?



Then there is the ENTIRE line of Von Dutch clothing and accressories. Yes Kenny Howard aka Von Dutch, was the best pinstriper that ever lived, yes he is a legend in the hot rod world, yes I have mad respect for what the man did, "brought pin-striping as a high art from motorcycles to automobile bodies". But who out there that is sporting any of the Von Dutch line really know anything about who the man was? It was his daughters that sold off the rights to his name and imagery simply for the cash after his death, which goes against EVERYTHING that he believed in. No, he really wasn't a likeable person, but he was an unbelieveably talented artist and I personally feel that selling off the rights to his name and imagery is not a good way to honor his artistry. Von Dutch helped change the world of car customizing right up there with Ed "Big Daddy" Roth. If you want to know more about who Von Ducth really was check out Kenny Howard | The Pinstriper Known as Von Dutch you WILL be surprised by it.

Now I am not against desinger fragarences or clothing or accessories. My favorite purse is a Mark Ecko Red purse that is decorated with Tattoo inspired art. I carry it ALL THE TIME! I have seen several other Mark Ecko purses that I would like to have but cannot currently afford. The difference here is that Mark Ecko is a designer. He did not start out as a car customizer or tattoo artist. His family did NOT sell off the rights to his name after his death. If fact he is still alive!

So, is there a point to this rant? Maybe, maybe not. But personally I would not wear something with a "designer name" just because it is trendy. I own no Ed Hardy anything and I would never own any Von Dutch clothing or accessories. (For Goddess sakes they make PINK Von Dutch trucker hats!! PINK!!! UGH!)
When you go to buy that Von Dutch hat or hoodie or shirt, stop and think, Von Dutch was an eccentric, not a particularly nice person and above all else an artist. Did you know ANY of that before you read this?

Before you buy that Ed Hardy perfume (or make up...yes there is a line of Ed Hardy make up too) stop and think...what do you know about the man? Did you know he was a pupil of Sailor Jerry? Hell did you know that Sailor Jerry is more than just a rum?

I am all for education. I beleve in educating myself about things and people before I choose to patronize or advertise for them....But that is just one woman's opinion.