We've been together in dozens, maybe thousands of lifetimes. I have been in love with you for an eternity. It's always the same. We're never together. How many lifetimes have to pass before we can be together?
So, here, now, in this lifetime, tell me the truth. None of your false bravado, none of the "I can't let my feelings get the better of me", just the pure, unadulterated truth. Does the thought of me being in another man's arms bother you?
Monday, July 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The "Cult" Called Roller Derby
Oh sure, it starts innocently enough. You decide to check out a roller derby game to see what all the “hub bub” is about. You watch and think,"what the hell is going on out there?” Then the teams do a demo and the announcer explains how the scoring works and you start to think "hey this is kind of cool.” Then you go to a couple more games and you begin to call them “bouts”.
After that you get the all consuming urge to go out and see movies like "whip It " and "Blood on the Flat Track" and you find yourself up late at night searching for roller derby videos on the internet. Eventually you hear from your local league that if you volunteer to help at the next bout you can get in for free, so you volunteer. (This is where it REALLY starts), first you just help to check wristbands at the door. Then you decide “I can do more” and you start frequenting the WFTDA website and reading up on the rules so you can volunteer as an NSO (non skating official). Just the fact that you know what NSO means should be setting off the alarms, but you pay no attention to it.
Now this is where the “cult” of roller derby gets really serious…..you start thinking of a “Derby Name” because, ”well EVERYBODY has one”, and you think it’s just weird that everyone is still calling you by your given name… from this point it can go a couple of different ways….
You will think “Well maybe I will just buy a cheap pair of skates and learn to skate, maybe buy a striped ref shirt, that way if someone can’t make a game I can fill in, I wouldn’t want to leave our girls in a lurch (The fact that you think of the league as “our girls” is the second warning)
OR
You think….I really was a good skater when I was a teenager, maybe I should go back to the rink and start skating again…..I don’t really want to be a roller….but wait, it looks like so much fun! And it has to be a good work out….look at them!
NO MATTER WHAT, DO NOT BUY ROLLER SKATES! Once you buy skates They have you!
You will find yourself wearing a striped shirt and skates and yelling “I said go to the box!” at girls…. You’ll spend countless hours at the WFTDA website studying rules and requirements to become a WFTDA certified ref. You’ll join ref groups online and you’ll start filling out applications to hopefully get in as a ref at Roller Con or March Radness, or any other event or tournament that you can make it to.
Or
You will find yourself in full pads, skates and a helmet and being called “Fresh Meat” by the newbie coach. If you get this far, I’m afraid that there is no hope for you. You have been inducted to the “Cult” of roller derby
Your friends and family will only see you when there are no practices, fundraisers, bouts or committee meetings. Oh sure you’ll be home on the weekend, but you will be glued to your computer trying to watch 4 different roller derby tournaments being webcast that weekend by any number of leagues or via the WFTDA website., You will have bruises everywhere and when someone sees a bruise on your arm and says “Oh! That looks painful” You think nothing of saying “oh that’s a small one, you should see this one on my ass!” as you start to lower your pants to show your friend the prize bruise you have….so what if you’re out to dinner…they NEED to see this.
Yes this is the “cult” of roller Derby and eventually your family will join too, they will have to if they ever want to see you again.
After that you get the all consuming urge to go out and see movies like "whip It " and "Blood on the Flat Track" and you find yourself up late at night searching for roller derby videos on the internet. Eventually you hear from your local league that if you volunteer to help at the next bout you can get in for free, so you volunteer. (This is where it REALLY starts), first you just help to check wristbands at the door. Then you decide “I can do more” and you start frequenting the WFTDA website and reading up on the rules so you can volunteer as an NSO (non skating official). Just the fact that you know what NSO means should be setting off the alarms, but you pay no attention to it.
Now this is where the “cult” of roller derby gets really serious…..you start thinking of a “Derby Name” because, ”well EVERYBODY has one”, and you think it’s just weird that everyone is still calling you by your given name… from this point it can go a couple of different ways….
You will think “Well maybe I will just buy a cheap pair of skates and learn to skate, maybe buy a striped ref shirt, that way if someone can’t make a game I can fill in, I wouldn’t want to leave our girls in a lurch (The fact that you think of the league as “our girls” is the second warning)
OR
You think….I really was a good skater when I was a teenager, maybe I should go back to the rink and start skating again…..I don’t really want to be a roller….but wait, it looks like so much fun! And it has to be a good work out….look at them!
NO MATTER WHAT, DO NOT BUY ROLLER SKATES! Once you buy skates They have you!
You will find yourself wearing a striped shirt and skates and yelling “I said go to the box!” at girls…. You’ll spend countless hours at the WFTDA website studying rules and requirements to become a WFTDA certified ref. You’ll join ref groups online and you’ll start filling out applications to hopefully get in as a ref at Roller Con or March Radness, or any other event or tournament that you can make it to.
Or
You will find yourself in full pads, skates and a helmet and being called “Fresh Meat” by the newbie coach. If you get this far, I’m afraid that there is no hope for you. You have been inducted to the “Cult” of roller derby
Your friends and family will only see you when there are no practices, fundraisers, bouts or committee meetings. Oh sure you’ll be home on the weekend, but you will be glued to your computer trying to watch 4 different roller derby tournaments being webcast that weekend by any number of leagues or via the WFTDA website., You will have bruises everywhere and when someone sees a bruise on your arm and says “Oh! That looks painful” You think nothing of saying “oh that’s a small one, you should see this one on my ass!” as you start to lower your pants to show your friend the prize bruise you have….so what if you’re out to dinner…they NEED to see this.
Yes this is the “cult” of roller Derby and eventually your family will join too, they will have to if they ever want to see you again.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Psychology of me at work and other places.
If you are not on top of your own business and you incur late fees because you “forgot” do not expect me to waive said late fees. Pony up with the cash and pay your bills. I don’t care why you “forgot” or why you didn’t come in to pay on the day that you said you would.
No you cannot intimidate me. If you try, you will only serve to achieve the exact opposite that you were hoping for.
I don’t get scared, I get pissed off. Then I get even.
Yes, revenge does make me feel better.
If I make a point of ignoring you, you should probably be worried.
The Opposite of Love is NOT Hate, it is Indifference.
If I tease, taunt and harass you, it’s because I care for you, NOT because I don’t like you. (Remember, “You only hurt the ones you love.”)
I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, the choice is yours. Be sure you choose wisely. If you choose enemy, it is not likely to change in this lifetime.
I cannot watch anyone bully another who can’t or won’t stand up for themselves. It is physically impossible for me to not get involved. As such, I have often found myself in arguments or fights defending total strangers.
I am honest, but not necessarily nice. If you ask me for my honest opinion or for an honest answer be very sure that is what you really want. Chances are you won’t like what I have to say and I will never apologize for that.
Bigotry in any form is NOT ok.
Animal cruelty, neglect or abuse is not merely wrong, it is IMMORAL
Loyalty is paramount to me.
Yes I do have children. I have 2 perfectly loveable Pit Bull “Children”.
Yes, I have been known to cry. No, you will probably never see it.
Yes, I do have tattoos. So? What I put on MY body is none of YOUR business(Unless you are my tattoo artist).
I will defend my family and friends with every fiber of my being until the end of time.
No you cannot intimidate me. If you try, you will only serve to achieve the exact opposite that you were hoping for.
I don’t get scared, I get pissed off. Then I get even.
Yes, revenge does make me feel better.
If I make a point of ignoring you, you should probably be worried.
The Opposite of Love is NOT Hate, it is Indifference.
If I tease, taunt and harass you, it’s because I care for you, NOT because I don’t like you. (Remember, “You only hurt the ones you love.”)
I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, the choice is yours. Be sure you choose wisely. If you choose enemy, it is not likely to change in this lifetime.
I cannot watch anyone bully another who can’t or won’t stand up for themselves. It is physically impossible for me to not get involved. As such, I have often found myself in arguments or fights defending total strangers.
I am honest, but not necessarily nice. If you ask me for my honest opinion or for an honest answer be very sure that is what you really want. Chances are you won’t like what I have to say and I will never apologize for that.
Bigotry in any form is NOT ok.
Animal cruelty, neglect or abuse is not merely wrong, it is IMMORAL
Loyalty is paramount to me.
Yes I do have children. I have 2 perfectly loveable Pit Bull “Children”.
Yes, I have been known to cry. No, you will probably never see it.
Yes, I do have tattoos. So? What I put on MY body is none of YOUR business(Unless you are my tattoo artist).
I will defend my family and friends with every fiber of my being until the end of time.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Good morning....?
I have a friend, a wonderful man that would practically give you the shirt off his back if you were in need. When he posts to his facebook status %99.9 of the time it is something wonderfully happy and silly that just makes you smile. He is happy and upbeat and rarely posts anything that is a complaint.
I have other friends that will post complaining about how much the weather sucks, or how noisy it is at their hotel in Las Vegas, or how hot it is in Vegas, or about how much it sucks that they didn't get into the class they wanted at Roller Con. Or they complain that they didn't sleep well, or "how dare that cop give me a speeding ticket!". The difference between these friends and my wonderful gentleman friend is simple.
My complaining friends are perfectly healthy, out doing what they love to do with no hindrances or restrictions.
That wonderful gentleman that I know, at the age of 40 he has had a quintuple bypass, has had to medically retire from work to save his life and has been told by doctors that more than likely he will need a heart transplant. So really....who should be complaining here?
Friends you need to remember to thank the Universe every single day for everything that you have. I get so tired of logging on and seeing nothing but complaints from people that simply don't know how good they have it.
As for me, I just want to say thank you to my gentleman friend for always making me smile with his posts and thank you to the Universe for everything that I have.
I have other friends that will post complaining about how much the weather sucks, or how noisy it is at their hotel in Las Vegas, or how hot it is in Vegas, or about how much it sucks that they didn't get into the class they wanted at Roller Con. Or they complain that they didn't sleep well, or "how dare that cop give me a speeding ticket!". The difference between these friends and my wonderful gentleman friend is simple.
My complaining friends are perfectly healthy, out doing what they love to do with no hindrances or restrictions.
That wonderful gentleman that I know, at the age of 40 he has had a quintuple bypass, has had to medically retire from work to save his life and has been told by doctors that more than likely he will need a heart transplant. So really....who should be complaining here?
Friends you need to remember to thank the Universe every single day for everything that you have. I get so tired of logging on and seeing nothing but complaints from people that simply don't know how good they have it.
As for me, I just want to say thank you to my gentleman friend for always making me smile with his posts and thank you to the Universe for everything that I have.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
2 minutes.,.
That's all just 2 minutes they had to hold it.....and they fell apart. It was disgusting!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Age is just a number.....
Age is just a number. It does not define who you are or dictate what you are capable of.
When I hear someone that is years younger than me say, “I can’t do that. I’m too old”, I really just lose all respect for them. There are things that I am doing that some believe I am too old to do. There are some that are too afraid to even attempt the things that I do or am planning to do. They are the ones that will allow themselves to grow old and die in a hospital bed somewhere of old age. They are the ones that live their lives in fear….fear of getting hurt, fear of losing their advantage of saying “I’m too old”, fear of LIVING. Because a life lived in fear is no life at all.
If I get hurt doing something that I love to do, I will heal. If I die doing something that I love to do, then I have died happy. It is not a tragedy to die doing what you love to do. The tragedy is dying never having done what you always wanted to do.
When I hear someone that is years younger than me say, “I can’t do that. I’m too old”, I really just lose all respect for them. There are things that I am doing that some believe I am too old to do. There are some that are too afraid to even attempt the things that I do or am planning to do. They are the ones that will allow themselves to grow old and die in a hospital bed somewhere of old age. They are the ones that live their lives in fear….fear of getting hurt, fear of losing their advantage of saying “I’m too old”, fear of LIVING. Because a life lived in fear is no life at all.
If I get hurt doing something that I love to do, I will heal. If I die doing something that I love to do, then I have died happy. It is not a tragedy to die doing what you love to do. The tragedy is dying never having done what you always wanted to do.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Don't Call me a Role Model
I’ve done some pretty insane stuff in my life. Some people that I have skated with, when they find out my age they say that I look great. Well believe me, that is all in the genes. It has nothing at all to do with how I have taken care of myself over the years (other than staying out of the sun),
But honestly all thru my late teens and into my mid thirties it was all about sex drugs and rock and roll. Don’t call me a role model.
I used speed on a daily basis for about 20 years. I used pot to sleep and speed to wake up. I have gotten into too many fights at bars, clubs and concerts to even count. I have hurt people, I have put people in the hospital. To say that I have a temper is an understatement and back then I really wasn’t able to hold my temper.
I've dated some real losers and even had one that told me “you’re a whole lot smarter than I am”. (that pretty much ended that one.) I got married, the first time when I was 19 and got my final divorce papers two weeks before my 20th birthday.
I was 38 years old when I finally gave up speed. I was 39 when I finally settled into a long term relationship that WASN’T based on partying and 42 when we got married. I was 52 when I got divorced for the 2nd time.
I gave up drinking because all my favorite alcohol now triggers migraines, I’ll smoke a good cigar or hang out with friends and smoke a hookah from time to time.. I do smoke marijuana for my migraines and to relax. I have finally had the opportunity to do what I have always wanted to do since childhood, skate roller derby.
I’ve been to Hell and back and if my story can inspire or help someone then I’m ok with that, just don’t call me a role model.
But honestly all thru my late teens and into my mid thirties it was all about sex drugs and rock and roll. Don’t call me a role model.
I used speed on a daily basis for about 20 years. I used pot to sleep and speed to wake up. I have gotten into too many fights at bars, clubs and concerts to even count. I have hurt people, I have put people in the hospital. To say that I have a temper is an understatement and back then I really wasn’t able to hold my temper.
I've dated some real losers and even had one that told me “you’re a whole lot smarter than I am”. (that pretty much ended that one.) I got married, the first time when I was 19 and got my final divorce papers two weeks before my 20th birthday.
I was 38 years old when I finally gave up speed. I was 39 when I finally settled into a long term relationship that WASN’T based on partying and 42 when we got married. I was 52 when I got divorced for the 2nd time.
I gave up drinking because all my favorite alcohol now triggers migraines, I’ll smoke a good cigar or hang out with friends and smoke a hookah from time to time.. I do smoke marijuana for my migraines and to relax. I have finally had the opportunity to do what I have always wanted to do since childhood, skate roller derby.
I’ve been to Hell and back and if my story can inspire or help someone then I’m ok with that, just don’t call me a role model.
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