Life in the Customer Service Lane

There are times when my disdain for the human race in general is almost palpable and then there are times when my hope for the hu…….naw, let’s be honest. I pretty much hate people in general. I feel that I chalk that up to over 25 years spent as a customer service rep.

Humans, especially in the U.S. tend to be lazy and always looking for the easy way out. For instance, at one place that I worked in customer service (waaay back in the 90s) we manufactured and sold outdoor drainage supplies. Large retailers like Home Depot and Lowe’s would buy from us and then re-sell to the public. So of course, someone in the marketing department had the idea that if products were going to be sold to the public then our toll free (1-800) customer service number should be prominently displayed on the package. Now those of us in the customer service department (and I’m guessing any of you that have ever worked in customer service) knew what a bad idea that was. We tried to explain it to marketing to no avail. So of course we were inundated with calls from people that had bought a product at Home Depot or Lowe’s, saw the toll free number and immediately picked up the phone and called us. I mean, why bother reading the step-by-step instructions that were also included when you can call someone and have them hold your hand and speak in small words, right?

One Friday, in fact , it was the Friday before the Northridge earthquake in 1994, (I remember it because it was blazingly hot and still with no wind) I had taken six calls in a row from people that couldn’t be bothered to read instructions. By call number 7 I’d had enough. Therefore, call number 7 went something like this:

Me: “Customer service, this is Yvette, how may I help you?”
Old Guy: “Hi Patty (yep he called me Patty, how you get Patty from Yvette I will never know) I bought this catch basin from Home Depot and I need a bit of help to install it.”
Me: (teeth grinding at being called Patty) May I get your name sir?
OG: Bob Smith
Me : Well Mr. Smith, I’m sure I can help you.
OG: Great, ok so how does this thing install exactly?
Me: Mr. Smith , may I ask you one quick question that could save us both some time?
OG: Well, of course.
Me: Mr. Smith, (in my most polite tone, with my manager listening) have you read the instructions that came with your catch basin?
OG: (sounding very apologetic) ummm, well…I mean, uh, no I didn’t ,Patty.
Me: That’s ok Mr. Smith, this happens a lot. Let’s say I make you a deal. You go and read the instructions and then, if you are still having issues call back and ask for me, I’m at extension 48 and I will be more than happy to help you. Does that sound good?
OG: Sure Patty…I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself.
ME; No problem, remember if you you’re still having problems after reading the instructions I’m at extension 48.
OG; Ok, extension 48. Got it. Thank you.
Me: Have a nice afternoon Mr. Smith


 But keep in mind that it wasn’t just the consumers….we got ridiculous questions from ”professionals” as well. Example, a phone call from the Manager of the Plumbing department at Home Depot (i won’t mention which store, that would be TOO mean)

Me: Customer service, this is Yvette how may I help you?
HD Mgr.: Hi Beth (really ? Beth? WTF?!?!), I’m the plumbing department manager at the (City, State) Home Depot and I have a customer that is looking for 60 feet of your trench drain. Do you have it in stock and available?
Me: We sure do. How does he want it?
HD mgr.: I’m sorry?
Me: Well, he can either get six -10 foot pieces or ten – 6 foot pieces.
HD Mgr: Oh… and that would be 60 feet? (Ok, we all know that I don’t do math…but come on! Even I can do that math)
Me: ummmm , yeah.
HD MGR. Ok let me ask my customer and I’ll call you right back. Should I just ask for Beth?
Me: Sure, that’ll be fine.

Then there was the Contractor in Mississippi that asked my manager, “so your 12 x 12 drain grate… is that square?”

Don’t get me wrong, there was the occasional customer that would make my day. Like Mr. Smith, he called back and talked to my manager and praised me for the way that I handled his call

My point of all this is, when you have to deal with customer service, try to be nice. They have to deal with idiots, jerks and extremely rude people all day long and they have to be polite. It’s a very stressful job, it doesn’t pay nearly enough and it really does make you hate humans in general. If you can make just one customer service rep smile after a long difficult day, believe me they will love you and will go above and beyond to help you with your issue. Seriously! I recently got an extra 15% off a purchase because I was nice to the customer service rep! Not to mention, it also will give you some good karma.

DWS (Driving While....)

There are times, more often than not, that I would simply love to smack the stupid human in front of me on the freeway, doing 50mph in the fast lane, square in face with a closed fist. What part of “fast lane” do these twits not understand???

Then there is the moron that can’t decide which lane he wants to be in so he swerves between all 3 or 4 lanes at approximately 30mph and then gets pissy when you honk at him. If you can’t drive the damned vehicle…then park it!
It is this kind of sheer stupidity that causes accidents. Especially during the rush hour.

I propose that the saying “there was an accident” should hereby be replaced by the term “someone did something stupid”. I sincerely believe that someone needs to create a bill to give to the lawmakers of this state that requires all applicants to take an IQ test BEFORE they can be rewarded with a driver’s license. Score below a certain number on said IQ test and boom, REJECTED! Sorry kids, you’re too stupid to drive. But here’s an annual bus pass, ENJOY!

That certainly would change traffic reporting as we know it. I can just hear it now…..

”…and now to Captain Tom in the traffic chopper. What’s it look like out there Captain?”

“Well Julie, someone did something stupid South Bound on the 101 at the 101/405 interchange and traffic is backed up clear past the White Oak Avenue exit. Most of it has been cleared and they are now letting some cars thru, but you’re still going to hit that back up. I suggest if at all possible avoid this section of the freeway for at least the next 2 hours. ..and it looks like the police have detained the idiot that seems to have caused the slow down. Yes…it does look like they are administering an on-site IQ test. Looks like another case of DWS (driving while stupid). Now back to Julie in the studio. ”

A Witch in the modern world.....

Something that happend to me a couple of weeks ago made me think.

In ancient times every village had their "Witch" or wise woman. Those that sought her help would go, under cover of darkness, to her cottage deep in the woods. Now we get text messages!

Coincidence?? I think not.

When I lost Faelcor, my Pit Bull/Akita/Chow mix to cancer at the age of 10, I was devastated. He was everything to me. He was my little boy, my protector, my familiar, my best friend. I sank into a deep depression, gained weight, became bitchy and unmotivated. I slept almost constantly when I wasn’t at work. I still saw Fael everywhere (still do from time to time)

I was miserable, unable to concentrate, unwilling to communicate or be a part of almost anything. Then one day I was on the internet, and for some odd reason I typed “California pit bull rescues” in the Google box and hit enter. Was it Faelcor telling me that it was time for me to help another dog? Was it just me wanting to move on? To this day I still don’t know.

After paging thru numerous pages of links I came to a name that just stuck with me “Villalobos Rescue Center.” Almost instinctively I clicked on the link and was taken to their site. I clicked on “About Us” and read their story. Then I clicked on the link to watch the video of the Katrina dogs and was brought to tears. Finally I clicked on “adopt a dog” which brought up pictures of dozens of beautiful pit bulls just waiting for a forever home. All different colors; fawn, brindle, black, pied, blue, white, all gorgeous and I wondered how did such beautiful creatures end up needing to be rescued? But none of them “struck me” Until I saw this picture of a little guy named Uggie, he had a lop ear and from what I could see crooked teeth….I fell in love immediately! I called my husband to look at the picture and he was a “goner” as well. I filled out the online adoption form as fast as I could and sent it off. I emailed “Tia” and finally after a few days we finally connected. We made an appointment to go out and meet Uggie…..and then Tia asked if we would like to be part of a new reality show that they were doing. My husband wasn’t quite sure….but I was all for it. So off we go to meet Uggie and Tia.

It’s not a horribly long drive to VRC from our house but it’s not close either. The most disconcerting part was turning onto the road that the rescue is located on and driving and driving and driving, you get out past where the asphalt ends and then keep going. At this point, it’s almost too narrow to turn around and you just pray that it doesn’t get dark before you find the place. Then you see the sign out front.
So we pull in and are met by one of the Show’s associate producers, we’re in the High desert now and it’s WINDY. They take us and get our microphone packs on, then we stand around and wait. At this point I just want to meet Uggie. But we have to wait….finally they have us get back in the car and go down the road a bit so they can film our arrival….ok so that’s typical for any show. Then they have us get out of the car and walk towards where we will meet Tia. That’s when things got….well for lack of a better word…odd. I see a red haired woman walking towards us she walks up and introduces herself, “Hi, I’m Tia”. We talk for a while as they are setting up the next shot and I almost fell over…not only is she a redhead (so am I), she’s the same age as me and yes, she’s Pagan.

I just look at my husband as I pull my own Pentagram necklace out from under my shirt. What are the odds that we would find THIS dog at THIS rescue operated by THIS woman at a time when I was so surely looking for SOMETNING to pull me out of my depression? So we get to wait a little more, she tells us that she has chosen a couple other dogs for us to “meet” as well as Uggie, that it works better for the show. The first little girl that they bring out is adorable…but not at all interested in us. The second boy….WOW! What a tempest! He barely sat down long enough for us to pet him. Then comes Uggie.

He is a short stocky little guy. Blue with a white “tuxedo shirt” chest and he’s soooo happy. As he gets closer we notice that yes, his teeth are crooked and he does have a lop ear…but he also has a short deformed tail that doesn’t so much wag as it does wiggle at the speed of light!

Then we are told that Uggie was a stray is South Los Angeles and when Animal control picked him up he had a pellet lodged in his hind leg where someone had shot him…..that makes me…..ok let’s be real…that PISSES ME OFF! He looks like he has scars on his face and could have possibly been used as a bait dog at some point. Regardless of all this….he is HAPPY and loving! We take him on a walk…and find that when he doesn’t want to walk anymore that he will lay down and (as I put it) become an anchor. *L* But with a little coaxing we get him going again…..before we even get back to the greeting area I’ve made the decision that Uggie needs us (or me) as much as we need him. …. (to be continued)