I don't need therapy, I have roller derby!

"You'll never see a Derby Girl on a Therpist's couch...unless she is sleeping with the therapist!"

I recently, I would say about a week ago, started a group on Facebook with the above name. Why? Because I am ALWAYS saying that I don’t need therapy, because I have roller derby.
I had no idea that it would strike such a cord with the Roller girls of the world. In less than a week we had 554 people join, with more joining all the time! Some have shared their stories on how derby has helped them….

One wrote-

“After discovering that my husband of 24 years cheated on me, I felt worthless, depressed, unloved and useless. Not being a small lady does not help either. But when I got SAVED on March 15, 2009 by the Derby City Roller Girls, my life began anew. I bless all of my derby sisters every day for being their when I need.”

Still another wrote-

Derby is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was so depressed. And now I have a wonderful derby family. And I get to knock girls down what else could I ask for. :). “

And another writes-

” I am so glad to have found derby 3 years ago; it is the greatest thing that could have happened to my family. I eat, sleep and breathe it, my kids love it and my husband is a Ref now! He signs every one of his emails with "Roller Derby saved my Wife!" ;) -

But my favorite, by far is-

“I haven't been on anti-depressants since I discovered Roller Derby 9 months ago lol”

Who could have imagined that something as simple as an amateur sport for women could have such a profound effect on so many? I knew that I loved it because, well I come from a pretty strong background. My siblings and I were always riding motorcycles, roller skating, sometimes getting into fights, when growing up. I have always had a temper and only learned to control it as I got older. My family is a family of “Fighters”. If you try to attack us in an effort to scare us you will simply piss us off and then you will have to deal with us defending ourselves. Most people just don’t want to go there. We have never been the family that sits back and let’s people bully us or our friends. So when Roller Derby made its comeback I KNEW I had to get involved. The truth is, that I have never really gotten along well with most women. I grew up a tomboy and was always hanging out with the guys, racing, riding, working on cars or motorcycles, you know, just being one of the guys

I never imagined that this sport could be helping so many women thru difficult times in their lives. But that is apparently what it is doing! I do understand why though. When you join a roller derby team/league you are suddenly a part of an amazing group of strong women. They are, for the most part, not your stereotypical women. They work hard and play hard, they don’t whine , but they will bitch from time to time (mostly when the coach says “Ok now, Lunges from one end of the track to the other!”) But they still suck it up and do it. They teach you to skate, to hit, to fall, to block, to jam. Most times they will cheer you on thru all of your progress.

They have suffered through bruises, “rink rash”, knee injuries, broken ankles, broken tailbones, broken legs, broken wrists/fingers, etc. and yet they still cannot imagine NOT skating! They have jobs and “normal” families, pets, boyfriends or husbands and many have children. They teach each other and protect each other. You attack (be it physically or verbally) one roller girl you’re going to have the whole team on your ass! They are a force to be reckoned with.

On the track it may look like they are trying to kill the opposing team, but afterwards it’s all about beers at the bar. Oh sure, there are some personality clashes, there always is in any large group of people (not just women), but there is far less cattiness than in other woman’s groups that I toyed with the idea of joining. I am not saying that it is one big happy “sorority” because it’s not…there are conflicts, but the difference here is that most roller girls are not phonies. If two teammates don’t like each other they usually make that very clear….however, they will usually figure out how to at least be civil to each other and still work as teammates on the track .

For the significant others in a roller girl’s life, once she starts skating they will suddenly see a whole new woman emerging, one that is stronger, happier and more confident. Sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes it can be a curse. But ladies, if you’re a roller girl and your guy or girl doesn’t like the person that it is helping you become, then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. Your significant other should want you to be happy, not be upset because you have found something (else) that you love.

For the most part, at least in my own experience and the experience with my team, our significant others are extremely supportive. Some are announcers, some become referees and some are just happy to volunteer at bouts. For many that have children derby becomes a family affair. Because really, what kid doesn’t want to be able tell their school mates/friends “My mom can beat up your dad”? *lol*

The longer I skate roller derby the more I come to love it. It seems I have found yet another place (besides renaissance faire) that I feel at home! And the fact that it is with a huge group of women is more than bizarre for me! So, ladies, if going thru a rough patch in your life with relationships, depression, weight gain or anything else and you’re not afraid to perhaps end up with some bruises…might I suggest roller derby? It has saved many of us…in fact I am contemplating starting the “United Church of Roller Derby” as the song from our “Patron Saint(s)” Uncle Leon and the Alibis says “Roller Derby Saved my Soul”!

The Rules of the Black Gryphon...

So you're thinking you want to join the Black Gryphon eh? While we of the Black Gryphon don't have many rules..... we do have a few that are Strictly enforced. If you can follow these simple rules you might be able to be a Gryphon.

#1 NO DRAMA (we don't do drama, we do comedy)

#2 Don't be Stupid
a. Don’t drink with Zac.
b. Don’t drink with Zac
c. DON’T DRINK WITH ZAC!!

#3 No Whining (see rules # 1 & 2)

#4 Have Fun (because if you're not having fun at faire it's time to stop doing faire!)

#5 Do your fair share(no one keeps records of what everyone has done....we just ask that everyone do what they can to help)

On traitors and un-loyal twits…..

I have been in many different groups, sports, ren faire guilds, ale stand crews, online groups etc., in my lifetime. There is little that pisses me off more than a traitor or un-loyal asshole that decides it is their purpose in life to try to destroy a group/team/guild/crew. These are the people that try to steal your members and take them to a new group, or will stay with your group only to act as a mole for a rival group, reporting back to the rival group all of your ideas, strengths, weaknesses etc.

I have no problem with people leaving one group to join another or even start their own. However, do not try to steal my members, do not try to give the ruling board of my group an ultimatum or lesson on how things should be run (if you think you can do better then quit talking and let’s see some fucking actions. Go start your own group if you think you can do better.), do not stay around just to be a spy (I would really rather you just leave), do not come up with some bullshit reason why you have to leave (when we all know the truth already), do not try to bring drama to my group just because you’re an asshole.

To put it bluntly, if you want to leave fine. Be up front about it, be honest about why you’re leaving and don’t give some bullshit sob story or try to give the heads of the group an ultimatum or lesson. You will most likely find that it will all backfire on you. In fact, the rest of the group doesn’t even need to know that you’re leaving or why unless the heads of the group want them to. So don’t post some bullshit email or social networking post saying good bye, and how sad you are to be leaving etc., because we all really know that is just a ploy that you use to get people to try to ask you to stay, because for some sick reason you have some deep seeded need to have everyone like you. The only response that you will get from me is”Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

To be honest, my group will be bigger, stronger and altogether better without you. There will be less drama, backstabbing and Jr. High School histrionics. We will thrive and grow and get better. People will find us and ask to join. Your departure will not deter us from becoming a stronger more closely knit group. In fact it will have just the opposite effect; we will become a force of nature. So remember if you leave and try to cause drama on your way out, when we become that force of nature do not even begin to think that you will ever be let back into the group. Like a Phoenix we will rise from the ashes and become more than what we were.

The Black Gryphon was at one point down to only 3 members…….we now have more than 40 members on our gate list, and we DON’T recruit. Yes, we are THAT good.