A non-artist in family full of (lowbrow) artists

I cannot draw to save my life. Seriously, the best I can muster is stick figures. So how is it that I come from a family FULL of artists? Two of my nephews are artists and Tattoo artists. So how did I come to be surrounded by artists? GOOD QUESTION.

My nephew, Zac, started drawing when he was about 4, I believe. I remember walking into my sister’s house and seeing him sitting at the coffee table in the living room with pencil and paper and in front of him was a soda cup from Little Caesar’s Pizza Pizza. As I looked over his shoulder to see what he was drawing I was shocked and amazed to see that he had drawn the Little Caesar’s mascot exactly as it appeared
on the cup, except twice as large. Then and there I knew he was talented. And that is when I made the commitment to ALWAYS encourage his art. From buying him drawing and painting supplies to paying for him to take extracurricular art classes. Even taking him to Renaissance Faire at the age of 10 expanded his artistic nature.



My nephew Rob also started drawing at a young age. He started tattooing at an early age
and thus Zac began his apprenticeship with his big brother at an early age. Both are now amazing artists and amazing tattooists.


Now I realize that many people see tattooing as “Lowbrow” art. But really, so what? Art is art. Ed “Big Daddy” Roth is considered lowbrow, Chris “Coop” Cooper is considered lowbrow as are Brandon Bond, Dave Mann, Frank Frazetta, Frank Miller, Joseph Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera), Tim Burton and virtually every comic book artist that has ever laid pen or pencil to paper. Lowbrow art is art for the people and lowbrow artists don’t have to wait until they are dead for people to appreciate their art.

I am incredibly proud of my nephews. They can take pencil and paper or tattoo machine and ink and create beauty or whimsy out of thin air using only their imaginations. This ability is something that should be encouraged wherever it is found and in whatever style it is found. Whether it is in the traditional arts such as drawing/painting, sculpting, photography, design or in the performing arts. In these days of budgets cuts when schools are cutting art and music classes I feel that it is the responsibility of everyone to make an effort to encourage children to draw, play, sculpt, design, sing, dance and act whenever and wherever they can. They are the future and a future without art is a very dismal future and one that makes me sad to even think about.

So how did I end up surrounded by artists? I have no idea, but I consider myself LUCKY.

1,000 lifetimes...always the same

We've been together in dozens, maybe thousands of lifetimes. I have been in love with you for an eternity. It's always the same. We're never together. How many lifetimes have to pass before we can be together?

 So, here, now, in this lifetime, tell me the truth. None of your false bravado, none of the "I can't let my feelings get the better of me", just the pure, unadulterated truth. Does the thought of me being in another man's arms bother you?

The "Cult" Called Roller Derby

Oh sure, it starts innocently enough. You decide to check out a roller derby game to see what all the “hub bub” is about. You watch and think,"what the hell is going on out there?” Then the teams do a demo and the announcer explains how the scoring works and you start to think "hey this is kind of cool.” Then you go to a couple more games and you begin to call them “bouts”.

After that you get the all consuming urge to go out and see movies like "whip It " and "Blood on the Flat Track" and you find yourself up late at night searching for roller derby videos on the internet. Eventually you hear from your local league that if you volunteer to help at the next bout you can get in for free, so you volunteer. (This is where it REALLY starts), first you just help to check wristbands at the door. Then you decide “I can do more” and you start frequenting the WFTDA website and reading up on the rules so you can volunteer as an NSO (non skating official). Just the fact that you know what NSO means should be setting off the alarms, but you pay no attention to it.

Now this is where the “cult” of roller derby gets really serious…..you start thinking of a “Derby Name” because, ”well EVERYBODY has one”, and you think it’s just weird that everyone is still calling you by your given name… from this point it can go a couple of different ways….

You will think “Well maybe I will just buy a cheap pair of skates and learn to skate, maybe buy a striped ref shirt, that way if someone can’t make a game I can fill in, I wouldn’t want to leave our girls in a lurch (The fact that you think of the league as “our girls” is the second warning)

OR

You think….I really was a good skater when I was a teenager, maybe I should go back to the rink and start skating again…..I don’t really want to be a roller….but wait, it looks like so much fun! And it has to be a good work out….look at them!

NO MATTER WHAT, DO NOT BUY ROLLER SKATES! Once you buy skates They have you!

You will find yourself wearing a striped shirt and skates and yelling “I said go to the box!” at girls…. You’ll spend countless hours at the WFTDA website studying rules and requirements to become a WFTDA certified ref. You’ll join ref groups online and you’ll start filling out applications to hopefully get in as a ref at Roller Con or March Radness, or any other event or tournament that you can make it to.

Or

You will find yourself in full pads, skates and a helmet and being called “Fresh Meat” by the newbie coach. If you get this far, I’m afraid that there is no hope for you. You have been inducted to the “Cult” of roller derby

Your friends and family will only see you when there are no practices, fundraisers, bouts or committee meetings. Oh sure you’ll be home on the weekend, but you will be glued to your computer trying to watch 4 different roller derby tournaments being webcast that weekend by any number of leagues or via the WFTDA website., You will have bruises everywhere and when someone sees a bruise on your arm and says “Oh! That looks painful” You think nothing of saying “oh that’s a small one, you should see this one on my ass!” as you start to lower your pants to show your friend the prize bruise you have….so what if you’re out to dinner…they NEED to see this.

Yes this is the “cult” of roller Derby and eventually your family will join too, they will have to if they ever want to see you again.

The Psychology of me at work and other places.

If you are not on top of your own business and you incur late fees because you “forgot” do not expect me to waive said late fees. Pony up with the cash and pay your bills. I don’t care why you “forgot” or why you didn’t come in to pay on the day that you said you would.

No you cannot intimidate me. If you try, you will only serve to achieve the exact opposite that you were hoping for.

I don’t get scared, I get pissed off. Then I get even.

Yes, revenge does make me feel better.

If I make a point of ignoring you, you should probably be worried.

The Opposite of Love is NOT Hate, it is Indifference.

If I tease, taunt and harass you, it’s because I care for you, NOT because I don’t like you. (Remember, “You only hurt the ones you love.”)

I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, the choice is yours. Be sure you choose wisely. If you choose enemy, it is not likely to change in this lifetime.

I cannot watch anyone bully another who can’t or won’t stand up for themselves. It is physically impossible for me to not get involved. As such, I have often found myself in arguments or fights defending total strangers.

I am honest, but not necessarily nice. If you ask me for my honest opinion or for an honest answer be very sure that is what you really want. Chances are you won’t like what I have to say and I will never apologize for that.

Bigotry in any form is NOT ok.

Animal cruelty, neglect or abuse is not merely wrong, it is IMMORAL

Loyalty is paramount to me.

Yes I do have children. I have 2 perfectly loveable Pit Bull “Children”.

Yes, I have been known to cry. No, you will probably never see it.

Yes, I do have tattoos. So? What I put on MY body is none of YOUR business(Unless you are my tattoo artist).

I will defend my family and friends with every fiber of my being until the end of time.

Good morning....?

I have a friend, a wonderful man that would practically give you the shirt off his back if you were in need. When he posts to his facebook status %99.9 of the time it is something wonderfully happy and silly that just makes you smile. He is happy and upbeat and rarely posts anything that is a complaint.

I have other friends that will post complaining about how much the weather sucks, or how noisy it is at their hotel in Las Vegas, or how hot it is in Vegas, or about how much it sucks that they didn't get into the class they wanted at Roller Con. Or they complain that they didn't sleep well, or "how dare that cop give me a speeding ticket!". The difference between these friends and my wonderful gentleman friend is simple.

My complaining friends are perfectly healthy, out doing what they love to do with no hindrances or restrictions.

That wonderful gentleman that I know, at the age of 40 he has had a quintuple bypass, has had to medically retire from work to save his life and has been told by doctors that more than likely he will need a heart transplant. So really....who should be complaining here?

Friends you need to remember to thank the Universe every single day for everything that you have. I get so tired of logging on and seeing nothing but complaints from people that simply don't know how good they have it.


As for me, I just want to say thank you to my gentleman friend for always making me smile with his posts and thank you to the Universe for everything that I have.

2 minutes.,.

That's all just 2 minutes they had to hold it.....and they fell apart. It was disgusting!

Age is just a number.....

Age is just a number. It does not define who you are or dictate what you are capable of.

When I hear someone that is years younger than me say, “I can’t do that. I’m too old”, I really just lose all respect for them. There are things that I am doing that some believe I am too old to do. There are some that are too afraid to even attempt the things that I do or am planning to do. They are the ones that will allow themselves to grow old and die in a hospital bed somewhere of old age. They are the ones that live their lives in fear….fear of getting hurt, fear of losing their advantage of saying “I’m too old”, fear of LIVING. Because a life lived in fear is no life at all.

If I get hurt doing something that I love to do, I will heal. If I die doing something that I love to do, then I have died happy. It is not a tragedy to die doing what you love to do. The tragedy is dying never having done what you always wanted to do.

Don't Call me a Role Model

I’ve done some pretty insane stuff in my life. Some people that I have skated with, when they find out my age they say that I look great. Well believe me, that is all in the genes. It has nothing at all to do with how I have taken care of myself over the years (other than staying out of the sun),

But honestly all thru my late teens and into my mid thirties it was all about sex drugs and rock and roll. Don’t call me a role model.

I used speed on a daily basis for about 20 years. I used pot to sleep and speed to wake up. I have gotten into too many fights at bars, clubs and concerts to even count. I have hurt people, I have put people in the hospital. To say that I have a temper is an understatement and back then I really wasn’t able to hold my temper.

I've dated some real losers and even had one that told me “you’re a whole lot smarter than I am”. (that pretty much ended that one.) I got married, the first time when I was 19 and got my final divorce papers two weeks before my 20th birthday.

I was 38 years old when I finally gave up speed. I was 39 when I finally settled into a long term relationship that WASN’T based on partying and 42 when we got married. I was 52 when I got divorced for the 2nd time.

I gave up drinking because all my favorite alcohol now triggers migraines, I’ll smoke a good cigar or hang out with friends and smoke a hookah from time to time.. I do smoke marijuana  for my migraines and to relax. I have finally had the opportunity to do what I have always wanted to do since childhood, skate roller derby.

I’ve been to Hell and back and if my story can inspire or help someone then I’m ok with that, just don’t call me a role model.

I don't need therapy, I have roller derby!

"You'll never see a Derby Girl on a Therpist's couch...unless she is sleeping with the therapist!"

I recently, I would say about a week ago, started a group on Facebook with the above name. Why? Because I am ALWAYS saying that I don’t need therapy, because I have roller derby.
I had no idea that it would strike such a cord with the Roller girls of the world. In less than a week we had 554 people join, with more joining all the time! Some have shared their stories on how derby has helped them….

One wrote-

“After discovering that my husband of 24 years cheated on me, I felt worthless, depressed, unloved and useless. Not being a small lady does not help either. But when I got SAVED on March 15, 2009 by the Derby City Roller Girls, my life began anew. I bless all of my derby sisters every day for being their when I need.”

Still another wrote-

Derby is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was so depressed. And now I have a wonderful derby family. And I get to knock girls down what else could I ask for. :). “

And another writes-

” I am so glad to have found derby 3 years ago; it is the greatest thing that could have happened to my family. I eat, sleep and breathe it, my kids love it and my husband is a Ref now! He signs every one of his emails with "Roller Derby saved my Wife!" ;) -

But my favorite, by far is-

“I haven't been on anti-depressants since I discovered Roller Derby 9 months ago lol”

Who could have imagined that something as simple as an amateur sport for women could have such a profound effect on so many? I knew that I loved it because, well I come from a pretty strong background. My siblings and I were always riding motorcycles, roller skating, sometimes getting into fights, when growing up. I have always had a temper and only learned to control it as I got older. My family is a family of “Fighters”. If you try to attack us in an effort to scare us you will simply piss us off and then you will have to deal with us defending ourselves. Most people just don’t want to go there. We have never been the family that sits back and let’s people bully us or our friends. So when Roller Derby made its comeback I KNEW I had to get involved. The truth is, that I have never really gotten along well with most women. I grew up a tomboy and was always hanging out with the guys, racing, riding, working on cars or motorcycles, you know, just being one of the guys

I never imagined that this sport could be helping so many women thru difficult times in their lives. But that is apparently what it is doing! I do understand why though. When you join a roller derby team/league you are suddenly a part of an amazing group of strong women. They are, for the most part, not your stereotypical women. They work hard and play hard, they don’t whine , but they will bitch from time to time (mostly when the coach says “Ok now, Lunges from one end of the track to the other!”) But they still suck it up and do it. They teach you to skate, to hit, to fall, to block, to jam. Most times they will cheer you on thru all of your progress.

They have suffered through bruises, “rink rash”, knee injuries, broken ankles, broken tailbones, broken legs, broken wrists/fingers, etc. and yet they still cannot imagine NOT skating! They have jobs and “normal” families, pets, boyfriends or husbands and many have children. They teach each other and protect each other. You attack (be it physically or verbally) one roller girl you’re going to have the whole team on your ass! They are a force to be reckoned with.

On the track it may look like they are trying to kill the opposing team, but afterwards it’s all about beers at the bar. Oh sure, there are some personality clashes, there always is in any large group of people (not just women), but there is far less cattiness than in other woman’s groups that I toyed with the idea of joining. I am not saying that it is one big happy “sorority” because it’s not…there are conflicts, but the difference here is that most roller girls are not phonies. If two teammates don’t like each other they usually make that very clear….however, they will usually figure out how to at least be civil to each other and still work as teammates on the track .

For the significant others in a roller girl’s life, once she starts skating they will suddenly see a whole new woman emerging, one that is stronger, happier and more confident. Sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes it can be a curse. But ladies, if you’re a roller girl and your guy or girl doesn’t like the person that it is helping you become, then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. Your significant other should want you to be happy, not be upset because you have found something (else) that you love.

For the most part, at least in my own experience and the experience with my team, our significant others are extremely supportive. Some are announcers, some become referees and some are just happy to volunteer at bouts. For many that have children derby becomes a family affair. Because really, what kid doesn’t want to be able tell their school mates/friends “My mom can beat up your dad”? *lol*

The longer I skate roller derby the more I come to love it. It seems I have found yet another place (besides renaissance faire) that I feel at home! And the fact that it is with a huge group of women is more than bizarre for me! So, ladies, if going thru a rough patch in your life with relationships, depression, weight gain or anything else and you’re not afraid to perhaps end up with some bruises…might I suggest roller derby? It has saved many of us…in fact I am contemplating starting the “United Church of Roller Derby” as the song from our “Patron Saint(s)” Uncle Leon and the Alibis says “Roller Derby Saved my Soul”!

The Rules of the Black Gryphon...

So you're thinking you want to join the Black Gryphon eh? While we of the Black Gryphon don't have many rules..... we do have a few that are Strictly enforced. If you can follow these simple rules you might be able to be a Gryphon.

#1 NO DRAMA (we don't do drama, we do comedy)

#2 Don't be Stupid
a. Don’t drink with Zac.
b. Don’t drink with Zac
c. DON’T DRINK WITH ZAC!!

#3 No Whining (see rules # 1 & 2)

#4 Have Fun (because if you're not having fun at faire it's time to stop doing faire!)

#5 Do your fair share(no one keeps records of what everyone has done....we just ask that everyone do what they can to help)

On traitors and un-loyal twits…..

I have been in many different groups, sports, ren faire guilds, ale stand crews, online groups etc., in my lifetime. There is little that pisses me off more than a traitor or un-loyal asshole that decides it is their purpose in life to try to destroy a group/team/guild/crew. These are the people that try to steal your members and take them to a new group, or will stay with your group only to act as a mole for a rival group, reporting back to the rival group all of your ideas, strengths, weaknesses etc.

I have no problem with people leaving one group to join another or even start their own. However, do not try to steal my members, do not try to give the ruling board of my group an ultimatum or lesson on how things should be run (if you think you can do better then quit talking and let’s see some fucking actions. Go start your own group if you think you can do better.), do not stay around just to be a spy (I would really rather you just leave), do not come up with some bullshit reason why you have to leave (when we all know the truth already), do not try to bring drama to my group just because you’re an asshole.

To put it bluntly, if you want to leave fine. Be up front about it, be honest about why you’re leaving and don’t give some bullshit sob story or try to give the heads of the group an ultimatum or lesson. You will most likely find that it will all backfire on you. In fact, the rest of the group doesn’t even need to know that you’re leaving or why unless the heads of the group want them to. So don’t post some bullshit email or social networking post saying good bye, and how sad you are to be leaving etc., because we all really know that is just a ploy that you use to get people to try to ask you to stay, because for some sick reason you have some deep seeded need to have everyone like you. The only response that you will get from me is”Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

To be honest, my group will be bigger, stronger and altogether better without you. There will be less drama, backstabbing and Jr. High School histrionics. We will thrive and grow and get better. People will find us and ask to join. Your departure will not deter us from becoming a stronger more closely knit group. In fact it will have just the opposite effect; we will become a force of nature. So remember if you leave and try to cause drama on your way out, when we become that force of nature do not even begin to think that you will ever be let back into the group. Like a Phoenix we will rise from the ashes and become more than what we were.

The Black Gryphon was at one point down to only 3 members…….we now have more than 40 members on our gate list, and we DON’T recruit. Yes, we are THAT good.

A non-artist in family full of (lowbrow) artists

I cannot draw to save my life. Seriously, the best I can muster is stick figures. So how is it that I come from a family FULL of artists? Two of my nephews are artists and Tattoo artists and my husband does amazing kar kulture style hot rod art as well as building some amazing miniature cars out of styrene. So how did I come to be surrounded by artists? GOOD QUESTION.

My nephew, Zac, started drawing when he was about 4, I believe. I remember walking into my sister’s house and seeing him sitting at the coffee table in the living room with pencil and paper and in front of him was a soda cup from Little Caesar’s Pizza Pizza. As I looked over his shoulder to see what he was drawing I was shocked and amazed to see that he had drawn the Little Caesar’s mascot exactly as it appeared
on the cup, except twice as large. Then and there I knew he was talented. And that is when I made the commitment to ALWAYS encourage his art. From buying him drawing and painting supplies to paying for him to take extracurricular art classes. Even taking him to Renaissance Faire at the age of 10 expanded his artistic nature.



My nephew Rob also started drawing at a young age. He started tattooing at an early age
and thus Zac began his apprenticeship with his big brother at an early age. Both are now amazing artists and amazing tattooists.




Now I realize that many people see tattooing  “Lowbrow” art. But really, so what? Art is art. Ed “Big Daddy” Roth is considered lowbrow, Chris “Coop” Cooper is considered lowbrow as are Brandon Bond, Dave Mann, Frank Frazetta, Frank Miller, Joseph Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera), Tim Burton and virtually every comic book artist that has ever laid pen or pencil to paper. Lowbrow art is art for the people and lowbrow artists don’t have to wait until they are dead for people to appreciate their art.

I am incredibly proud of my nephews. They can take pencil and paper or tattoo machine and ink and create beauty or whimsy out of thin air using only their imaginations. This ability is something that should be encouraged wherever it is found and in whatever style it is found. Whether it is in the traditional arts such as drawing/painting, sculpting, photography, design or in the performing arts. In these days of budgets cuts when schools are cutting art and music classes I feel that it is the responsibility of everyone to make an effort to encourage children to draw, play, sculpt, design, sing, dance and act whenever and wherever they can. They are the future and a future without art is a very dismal future and one that makes me sad to even think about.

So how did I end up surrounded by artists? I have no idea, but I consider myself LUCKY.

Peace on earth.....

Good will to Man?

No thank you. I hate humans, Yes you read that right. I hate humans. Because really....all the problems that exist on this planet started with Humans. Bigotry, religion, racism, sexism, war, pollution, it all started with humans.

Think about it....you've never heard of a lion bombing a building in the name of "Their" god. Nor have you heard of a dog judging someone because of the color of their skin. You've never heard of an animal killing for the sport of it. Nope they kill to survive, it's called the food chain. There is nothing good or bad about it. It simply is.

However, then humans evolved...and as the human race evolved so did racism, bigotry, religion and hate. Pollution and overcrowding started to take hold....then wonders of wonders humans invented a way to travel into space.....now we have SPACE junk! WTF!?!?

So yes...I say, and will defend it, that the blame for all of the problems that exist in the world today can be laid squarely at the feet of "Humanity".

The single biggest enemy that the environment has today is HUMANS.

So as far as Peace on Earth (it will never happen as long as the human race as we know it exists) and good will to Man I say BITE ME!

"Designer" anything???

Ok....so I'm looking at an Ulta cosmetics ad and I see that they have Ed Hardy fragarence and makeup on sale. Really? Don Ed Hardy is a legend in the world of tattooing, but really do women want to SMELL like him? Is he really qualified to create a fragarence? Or did someone else create the fragarence and Ed Hardy simply put his name on it? Perhaps I am a purist or maybe you would call me a snob, but it saddens me to see a legend become a sell out. Now I could get behind a line of, perhaps clothing with Ed Hardy's art on it....after all he is an artist. But a PERFUME? Really?



Then there is the ENTIRE line of Von Dutch clothing and accressories. Yes Kenny Howard aka Von Dutch, was the best pinstriper that ever lived, yes he is a legend in the hot rod world, yes I have mad respect for what the man did, "brought pin-striping as a high art from motorcycles to automobile bodies". But who out there that is sporting any of the Von Dutch line really know anything about who the man was? It was his daughters that sold off the rights to his name and imagery simply for the cash after his death, which goes against EVERYTHING that he believed in. No, he really wasn't a likeable person, but he was an unbelieveably talented artist and I personally feel that selling off the rights to his name and imagery is not a good way to honor his artistry. Von Dutch helped change the world of car customizing right up there with Ed "Big Daddy" Roth. If you want to know more about who Von Ducth really was check out Kenny Howard | The Pinstriper Known as Von Dutch you WILL be surprised by it.

Now I am not against desinger fragarences or clothing or accessories. My favorite purse is a Mark Ecko Red purse that is decorated with Tattoo inspired art. I carry it ALL THE TIME! I have seen several other Mark Ecko purses that I would like to have but cannot currently afford. The difference here is that Mark Ecko is a designer. He did not start out as a car customizer or tattoo artist. His family did NOT sell off the rights to his name after his death. If fact he is still alive!

So, is there a point to this rant? Maybe, maybe not. But personally I would not wear something with a "designer name" just because it is trendy. I own no Ed Hardy anything and I would never own any Von Dutch clothing or accessories. (For Goddess sakes they make PINK Von Dutch trucker hats!! PINK!!! UGH!)
When you go to buy that Von Dutch hat or hoodie or shirt, stop and think, Von Dutch was an eccentric, not a particularly nice person and above all else an artist. Did you know ANY of that before you read this?

Before you buy that Ed Hardy perfume (or make up...yes there is a line of Ed Hardy make up too) stop and think...what do you know about the man? Did you know he was a pupil of Sailor Jerry? Hell did you know that Sailor Jerry is more than just a rum?

I am all for education. I beleve in educating myself about things and people before I choose to patronize or advertise for them....But that is just one woman's opinion.

Coincidence??? I think not Part II

Tune in this Friday Night (November 6, 2009) @ 10 pm on Animal planet to see what happens!!

Pit Bulls and Parolees

BTW That is Uggi kissing that guy's face in the trailer

End of the world in 2012?

Ok....so people keep saying that the Mayan calendar predicts that the world will end in 2012. Soooooo, if the Mayans were so accurate with predictions you would think that they would have seen their own extinction coming, right?

I think the lesson to be learned here is, to not depend on an extinct people if you want accurate predictions. Just sayin'.

Autumn is in the Air! WOO HOO!

Yesterday as I left the office to head home it hit me; the smell in the air, the quality of the light…Autumn is here! With Autumn comes Samhain (Halloween) and our neighbor’s big Halloween party. So seeing as the party is actually on the 31st this year I’ve decided that I want to take a traditional Pagan/Witch Samhain dish to the party.

Now what to take? So I Googled “Samhain Recipes” as my search results came up I noticed something..umm interesting, shall we say. The names that some of these people take for themselves! They go from the pretentious, Silver RavenWolf (a fairly well known, albeit “fluffy bunny”)author, to the downright silly, Lady Walking Turtle (as opposed to Flying Turtle??), Starfire(Teen Titans anyone?) , Amethyst (that’s not a name it’s a stone), StormWing (??), Moon Mistress (Frank Frazetta much? Mistress, Maid, whatever…it still feels Frazettaesqe), Star Breeze (umm….sorry no atmosphere in space so no breeze, Star).
Why do these Neo-Pagans feel the need to take on such pretentious, ridiculous names? Ok, I suppose if you are a business person that owns a non pagan business that you might not want your business associates/customers to know your religious beliefs…but, Griffyn Elvyncraft? REALLY?!? SERIOULSY? Dude, step away from the D & D manual!

Even more puzzling to me is the fact that they take the “choosing of a Wiccan/Pagan” name so seriously. I’ve been a Witch (not Wiccan a Witch) all of my life (or at least for as long as I can remember) and while I will admit I am known by many names … Mistaya (Bear), Nyx, Lucifair, Strabo, and Violence (online on the “gothic side” of the web), Rhiannon M. Boyle (at Ren and Pirate Faire), Vi Suvius (in the Roller Derby World) and finally, Yvette, which is my real name. I have never felt the need to give myself a Witch name. Dear Goddess I cannot imagine adding yet another name to the list of ones I already have!

I have noticed that many that have felt the need for a Wiccan/Pagan name are what I call “short timers”. Those that have been part of the Craft for less than say 20 years OR that have come to Paganism from another religion (usually one of the Christian based factions). I suppose that they feel a need to break away from what they once were…or they just fall in and get advice from what I and others call the “Fluffy bunny” factions of Paganism. “Fluffy Bunnies” are followers of Wicca that will tell you that they are “White Witches” or that they are “Wiccan” NOT Witches. The ones that still believe you MUST HAVE special tools and special places to do any type of ritual or spell work Of course if they say that they are “Wiccan NOT Witches” then they probably don’t do any spell work to begin with.

I want to now address these things. First of all “fluffy bunnies” - “White” Witches; do not exist. A truly “White” Witch would be forbidden from doing anything to protect themselves from attack, whether psychic or physical. Magick is not black OR white it is both. What determines how it is used is the person using it. If they are doing it to help or hurt. It is all about focus and intent. But I digress, this is not meant to be a lesson (I suck as a teacher, regardless of what the Grandfathers think).

Now for the Wiccans that aren’t Witches. If you have chosen an alternative religion but are not fully utilizing the teachings of said alternative religion…..then why bother? Seems to me it’s a lot of work for nothing.

As for needing special tools and a special place for ritual or spell work. Well what can I say, I’ve been doing this all my life (about 49 years now) so I can pretty much use anything and be anywhere and still cast an effective spell (even when I’m not trying). Oh don’t get me wrong…I do have my “altar” but I will still use whatever knife I have handy for cutting herbs (most times I’ll just break them off by hand) and my mini-cauldron incense burner is pretty much an all purpose tool at this point. Perhaps this knowledge will only come with time for the Fluffy Bunnies and the “Non Witch” Wiccans.

So Happy Autumn everyone – get out there and enjoy this beautiful weather. And Happy Samhain/Halloween!

Now, I will sign this in the tradition of the short timers and fluffy bunnies of the world.

Merry Meet and Merry Part,
Lady Mistaya Nyx Lucifair Strabo Violence Rhiannon Vi M. Bear-Boyle-Suvius
(LOL) Thanks for reading my latest rant! ;D

Life in the Customer Service Lane

There are times when my disdain for the human race in general is almost palpable and then there are times when my hope for the hu…….naw, let’s be honest. I pretty much hate people in general. I feel that I chalk that up to over 25 years spent as a customer service rep.

Humans, especially in the U.S. tend to be lazy and always looking for the easy way out. For instance, at one place that I worked in customer service (waaay back in the 90s) we manufactured and sold outdoor drainage supplies. Large retailers like Home Depot and Lowe’s would buy from us and then re-sell to the public. So of course, someone in the marketing department had the idea that if products were going to be sold to the public then our toll free (1-800) customer service number should be prominently displayed on the package. Now those of us in the customer service department (and I’m guessing any of you that have ever worked in customer service) knew what a bad idea that was. We tried to explain it to marketing to no avail. So of course we were inundated with calls from people that had bought a product at Home Depot or Lowe’s, saw the toll free number and immediately picked up the phone and called us. I mean, why bother reading the step-by-step instructions that were also included when you can call someone and have them hold your hand and speak in small words, right?

One Friday, in fact , it was the Friday before the Northridge earthquake in 1994, (I remember it because it was blazingly hot and still with no wind) I had taken six calls in a row from people that couldn’t be bothered to read instructions. By call number 7 I’d had enough. Therefore, call number 7 went something like this:

Me: “Customer service, this is Yvette, how may I help you?”
Old Guy: “Hi Patty (yep he called me Patty, how you get Patty from Yvette I will never know) I bought this catch basin from Home Depot and I need a bit of help to install it.”
Me: (teeth grinding at being called Patty) May I get your name sir?
OG: Bob Smith
Me : Well Mr. Smith, I’m sure I can help you.
OG: Great, ok so how does this thing install exactly?
Me: Mr. Smith , may I ask you one quick question that could save us both some time?
OG: Well, of course.
Me: Mr. Smith, (in my most polite tone, with my manager listening) have you read the instructions that came with your catch basin?
OG: (sounding very apologetic) ummm, well…I mean, uh, no I didn’t ,Patty.
Me: That’s ok Mr. Smith, this happens a lot. Let’s say I make you a deal. You go and read the instructions and then, if you are still having issues call back and ask for me, I’m at extension 48 and I will be more than happy to help you. Does that sound good?
OG: Sure Patty…I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself.
ME; No problem, remember if you you’re still having problems after reading the instructions I’m at extension 48.
OG; Ok, extension 48. Got it. Thank you.
Me: Have a nice afternoon Mr. Smith


 But keep in mind that it wasn’t just the consumers….we got ridiculous questions from ”professionals” as well. Example, a phone call from the Manager of the Plumbing department at Home Depot (i won’t mention which store, that would be TOO mean)

Me: Customer service, this is Yvette how may I help you?
HD Mgr.: Hi Beth (really ? Beth? WTF?!?!), I’m the plumbing department manager at the (City, State) Home Depot and I have a customer that is looking for 60 feet of your trench drain. Do you have it in stock and available?
Me: We sure do. How does he want it?
HD mgr.: I’m sorry?
Me: Well, he can either get six -10 foot pieces or ten – 6 foot pieces.
HD Mgr: Oh… and that would be 60 feet? (Ok, we all know that I don’t do math…but come on! Even I can do that math)
Me: ummmm , yeah.
HD MGR. Ok let me ask my customer and I’ll call you right back. Should I just ask for Beth?
Me: Sure, that’ll be fine.

Then there was the Contractor in Mississippi that asked my manager, “so your 12 x 12 drain grate… is that square?”

Don’t get me wrong, there was the occasional customer that would make my day. Like Mr. Smith, he called back and talked to my manager and praised me for the way that I handled his call

My point of all this is, when you have to deal with customer service, try to be nice. They have to deal with idiots, jerks and extremely rude people all day long and they have to be polite. It’s a very stressful job, it doesn’t pay nearly enough and it really does make you hate humans in general. If you can make just one customer service rep smile after a long difficult day, believe me they will love you and will go above and beyond to help you with your issue. Seriously! I recently got an extra 15% off a purchase because I was nice to the customer service rep! Not to mention, it also will give you some good karma.

DWS (Driving While....)

There are times, more often than not, that I would simply love to smack the stupid human in front of me on the freeway, doing 50mph in the fast lane, square in face with a closed fist. What part of “fast lane” do these twits not understand???

Then there is the moron that can’t decide which lane he wants to be in so he swerves between all 3 or 4 lanes at approximately 30mph and then gets pissy when you honk at him. If you can’t drive the damned vehicle…then park it!
It is this kind of sheer stupidity that causes accidents. Especially during the rush hour.

I propose that the saying “there was an accident” should hereby be replaced by the term “someone did something stupid”. I sincerely believe that someone needs to create a bill to give to the lawmakers of this state that requires all applicants to take an IQ test BEFORE they can be rewarded with a driver’s license. Score below a certain number on said IQ test and boom, REJECTED! Sorry kids, you’re too stupid to drive. But here’s an annual bus pass, ENJOY!

That certainly would change traffic reporting as we know it. I can just hear it now…..

”…and now to Captain Tom in the traffic chopper. What’s it look like out there Captain?”

“Well Julie, someone did something stupid South Bound on the 101 at the 101/405 interchange and traffic is backed up clear past the White Oak Avenue exit. Most of it has been cleared and they are now letting some cars thru, but you’re still going to hit that back up. I suggest if at all possible avoid this section of the freeway for at least the next 2 hours. ..and it looks like the police have detained the idiot that seems to have caused the slow down. Yes…it does look like they are administering an on-site IQ test. Looks like another case of DWS (driving while stupid). Now back to Julie in the studio. ”

A Witch in the modern world.....

Something that happend to me a couple of weeks ago made me think.

In ancient times every village had their "Witch" or wise woman. Those that sought her help would go, under cover of darkness, to her cottage deep in the woods. Now we get text messages!